Recovery

Recovery...here we are again. I begrudgingly admit that we had about two great weeks of perfect health between the heat stroke and this surgery. I worry that everyone is tired of hearing about my health issues...heck, I'm tired of hearing about my own health issues!! I just have to get this all our of my head and into my "journal." I am so very thankful for all of the help we have received over the past week. I realized just how much help we are going to need last night when I attempted to heat up our families dinner. Our amazing friend Shirley brought us a delicious meal, all I had to do was heat it up. Jacob was on a telicon meeting and Jessica and Barrett were watching the kids. I decided to heat up the meal and have it on the table when the boys got home. Many extra vicadins and 15 hours later I am still hurting from lifting the plate into the microwave. Now that is humbling! The doctors of course explained this surgery in detail to me and I fully realize that my muscles and skin have been removed from the bone and then placed back. I realize that a lot of the tissue was removed and that there is a hole in my chest now. I realize that things are going to take many weeks before they are fully "stuck" into their proper place again. I realize I need to be careful to allow the muscles and skin time to reattach...but I didn't realize that included heating up a meal for my family. I can not explain how humbling it is to not be able to do things for my family. This is my vocation, my purpose, my life, my desire, and my joy. This is also not my role right now...but I honestly don't know how to do anything else. I am fumbling around trying to do things I can do, make online photo books, fill out baby books, pray, read, all in an attempt to feel like I can do "my job." Then I realized that this is EXACTLY why Christ has placed this "burden" on me. I need to be humbled. I need to accept my limitations. I need to allow people to help. I am ready and willing to accept help. I have very much "learned my lesson" about my limitations. I am so very thankful to have Jan here today loving the heck out of my family so I can lay in bed doped up on vicadin. I am glad that my stubborn self can actually feel the ramifications of my stubborn actions. I need this. I need this. I need this. Thank you God for the way that you work through my stubbornness. Thank you for the amazing support group you have placed before me. I am humbled! I'll leave you with a precious picture of my sweet, sweet, boys loving on each other as they wait for Daddy to drag them around the house in their burrito :) . I am SO blessed!