New Fashion Statements

The latest in fashion trends...my new style. Here I am after the biopsy with my little stitches and my little scar. Got those stitches out today (happy mothers day to me!!!) It already feels better. I'm gonna be doing some major shopping this week searching for shirts that can cover my chest after the surgery next week. Too bad turtlenecks aren't in style anymore :)

Heat Stroke Update #2

Still working on the heat stroke...headed to the cardiologist next to do an echocardiogram, a 24 hour cardiac monitor test, and possibly an adrenaline infused stress test. All of this has been put on hold however...last Wednesday I had a suspicious mole removed that turned out to be a melanoma. If you look really closely you can see it in the below picture, its right in the middle of my chest about four inches below my collar bone. I was scheduled for an in office surgery this Wednesday to remove extra skin above, below, and internal to the original spot to make sure all the cancerous cells were gone. On Tuesday I recieved a call from my surgeon saying that the procedure was cancelled and that she was passing my case off to a dr. at MD Anderson. She believed that given my other health concersn and the depth of my melanoma was deep enough to warrant a dye test and a lymphnode biopsy to make sure the cancer had not spread. So we worried and we prayed and we waited to hear more from the surgeons at MD Anderson. I received a call yesterday setting up my pre-op appointment for next Monday and tenatively scheduled my surgery for wednesday the 18th. The amazing Physicians Assistant at MD Anderson took a look at my biopsy and pathhology report as soon as she recieved it and called us to let us know what to expect from my surgery. She said that based on her knowledge (from the best cancer hospital in the entire world) there was no reason to believe the melanoma had spread. Praise God! The surgery itself is going to under general anestesia in an opperating room and will affect a rather large area of my chest and possibly even require a skin graft. The PA said the scar it will definetly be a "conversation peice" for the rest of my life. It will most likely be an outpatient surgery depending upon the need for a skin graft. The surgeon said it will be about a six week recovery with no lifting of kids until at least the seventh week and with more severe restrictions in the first few weeks. We are just thankful to not have radiation or chemotherapy on our minds anymore. I will try my best to keep this blog updated if anything changes. I know there are a lot of friends and family that check this and I promise to update with any new information. I don't expect to have anything new to post until after my Pre-Op next Monday. We are hopeful that after my new surgeon does his own pathology report that he will concur with his PA about the non-agressiveness of this melanoma. Thank you all so much for your prayers and I ask you to please keep them up for our entire family. With the heat stroke and now this we are feeling pretty overwhelmed. More importantly we are in awe of the preciousness of this beautiful life that we have. God has already answered so many of our prayers and we know that he has allowed these sufferings for our greater good and sanctification. Thank you again, keep the prayers coming, and I promise to update soon.

Heat Stroke Update

Its been two weeks...things are slowly getting better. I had a few good days this week and was happy to finally feel some progress. The doctors warned me it would be four to six weeks until I was feeling 100% again. I naively believed I would be the exception. I'm still really taking it easy. I got to go out to Pappasitos for my birthday this week :) that was awesome. Other than that just taking it slow. Waiting for my body to heal and trying to be patient. Thank God I have such an AMAZING support system. Went to see my doctor on Tuesday and she was definitely disturbed. She is sure that there is a root cause somewhere and is running every test in the books until she finds it. My cortisol levels were really off so maybe it was a hormone issue? Deep brain issues related to the internal thermostat suddenly switching off? Inflammatory issues with my kidneys? No answers yet, just lots of theories. I go back to see her again next week to find out the results of the first round of tests. Its going to be a journey. An emotional journey that's for sure. I didn't realize how much emotion I had tied up into my running and into that race. I have a really hard time not thinking about the other racers...I can't help but feel terribly embarrassed. A lesson in humility that's for sure. Thankfully, I have been surrounded by good council. My amazing husband has listened to his fair share of melt downs these past two weeks. He is constantly reminding me that this happened for a reason. Maybe there is something wrong that we would have never known had this not happened. He reminds me that I wouldn't have changed a thing about my race. That I have NO control over the speed of my recovery. That I need to be thankful for the good this experience has brought. That I shouldn't assume I know what anyone else is thinking...especially the other racers that walked around me to the finish line. That it doesn't matter anyway. I'm tired just thinking through the emotions. I will try to keep posting updates as I know many of you are praying for me. Thank you so much for your prayers. I am eternally grateful! Off to go kiss my blessings goodnight :)

Seabrook "Not So Lucky" Trails

LOVE this action shot...look at that concentration! And yes I am too cheep to buy it without the EP all over it :)

The family up bright and early to cheer me on...so blessed!

Looks like a great day doesnt it? Oh looks can be deceiving! Heres what really happened. I am not a very eloquent writter so bear with me. I have to get this out of my head and on to paper! The week before the race I am feeling great all my taper runs went well. After all I have been training for nine months! I've done my share of 12 mile runs and towards the end of my training I was averaging 8:06 per mile. I couldn't wait to get out on the trail and kill this 1/2! I hydrated all week and ate my normal "long run" breakfast protein bar and banana. I am an athlete and this is a typical Saturday morning. The first 1/2 of the race I was averaging about 8:09 (ran without my watch...long story) I felt great. The trail was a bit different surface than I had imagined so it was taking a bit more energy than my road runs. The second half I was unusually tired and my idea of negative splits went out the window but I trying to hang in there to finish with an average of at least 8:30. I knew I was slowing down...but didn't know why. Where was the runners high? It always kicked in and helped me out at the end? I prayed and prayed that it would come. Mile 11 came and went and all I could think of was the finish line. I was still drinking, water in one bottle, gatorade in the other, I decided to wear my hydration belt so I could control my own fluids. 12.5 miles I turned a corner and saw the finish line...I knew my family was waiting and I couldn't wait to be done running! The next thing I know I woke up in an ambulance. I heard the paramedic say my body temperature was 105. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't think of anything. He asked me a bunch of questions to which I knew I should know the answer to but I couldn't respond. My body was numb. They covered me in ice and showered me with water. An IV was already in my arm and they were pumping me full of iced saline. The paramedics spoke to one another and declared that I had a heat stroke. WHAT? How in the world could this have happened? And God...seriously I had .6 miles left...I was set to finish in about 1:53 a time that wasn't my training run PR but still definetly a great time to be proud of! Did this really happen? I locked eyes with the paramedic with desperation written as clearly as I could display on my face. Pleading with my eyes...please take care of me. My boys...I remembered my boys...Jacob...I heard his voice...Oh God I bet Sabrina (my training partner and running hero) is worried...why can't I remember the year? The ride to the hospital seamed like forever. I vomited over and over...seriously?! By the time we reached the hospital my body temperature was down to 101. They asked me to move to my bed. I couldn't move. The doctors twisted and moved my body as if I was a rag doll. I could see my body moveing but couldn't feel anything. Each time I was asked a question I responded with wide eyes and confusion...eventually an answer came to me but it was so hard to remember. Lots more vomit, lots more ice, finally the medicine overcame me and I slept. Every 30 minutes I woke up in a panic wide eyed and was greated by Jacob, my mother, or my father who reasured me that soon I would remember. I slept all day. Doctors and nurses ran tests right and left I remember not careing about anything, I just wanted to sleep. By 5:00 I woke up and could remember the year, my name, and the month, but was still very confused as to what happened. Pain struck every inch of my body now and I asked for some relief. The doctors were concerned with my blood protein levels and explained that my muscles were deteriorating and sheding protein into my blood. This left a huge job for my kidneys to clean all of this protein out of my blood. Often this results in protein becoming lodged in the kidney and causing all sorts of ramifications. They kept me overnight and gave me fluids that helped my kidneys sort through the proteins. In the morning my levels were out of the danger zone and I was released. Sore, exhausted, confused, but so thankful to be alive. I am still sorting through my own feelings about everything. I have a lot of questions that still need to be answered. I still feel like I did everything right the day of the run. I don't remember any warning signs. Thankfully there are still a lot of dr. appointments where I will have the opportunity for answers. I am told I am now more at risk of this happening again. Once your body looses its ability to regulate its temperature it is more prone to happen again. They say I may never be able to run in the heat or the cold again. So what I can only run when its 50-60 and not too sunny? I am not ready to sort through that last statement. I LOVE running. I love the thrill of raceing. I love feeling like an athlete again and pushing my body to perform. I became too proud of how fast I could go...maybe this is humilty for that! How is it that my body fell under the pressure after performing at this rate for nine months? So many questions. So many emotions. Humility is coming in so many ways. Pieces are still falling into place. I am still SO exhausted! I have help around the clock and meals coming from my amazing mothers group. I am so blessed and so thankful. I love you all. Please help me pick up the peices again.

Genevieve Rose

Our fourth beautiful neice has made her arrival!! Genevieve Rose Counts was born Saturday, March 19th at 11:02 weighing in at a tiny 5 lbs 13 oz. As you can see she is gorgeous! Right now she looks just like her big brother Francis. Praise God for the blessings of a sweet, healthy, baby and a safe delivery!

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day to my sweet sweet loves. I love you more each and everyday. Oh how we all love pre-bedtime PJ tickle fests!

Snow Angels

We are in Albuqueque for a nine day buisness travel with Jacob. It is FREEZING!!! Sheish people isn't this supposed to be the dessert? The news this morning said the windchill could get down to -40 in some areas...ouch! We got out yesterday for a quick jaunt in the snow. Definetly took longer to get the kids dressed than we actually spent outside but it was still fun! I have a whole new respect for those who deal with this all winter. Seriously don't know how you do it. (emily?!) Keeping up with mittens, hats, coats, scarfs, and boots for everyone is exhausting. Its supposed to snow some more tonight and then warm up to be in the 40's by the weekend. Thats going to feel hot! Jan and Daryl will be joining us tomorrow night and we are super excited to show them around our "home away from home"!